If you can’t imagine what life is going to be like after divorce or how you are going to get through it, you aren’t alone. There are many individuals out there just like you who just found out their significant other, who doesn’t exactly want to be significant in their life anymore, wants a divorce. And because they sprung it on so unexpected, they simply don’t know how they are going to get through this difficult time. In fact, that is how Nancy Michaels felt after learning her husband wanted a divorce despite the fact that they had been together for 16 years and birthed three children.
According to WebMD, not only was Michaels hit with those four famous words, “I want a divorce,” without being given an explanation why, but she also developed a life-threatening medical condition that could have cost her custody of her children. Thankfully, she was able to regain her health and went on to purchase a home of her own and start a “website exclusively for women over 40 going through a divorce.” Unfortunately, not everyone is able to pick themselves back up that quickly once they find out that are divorcing.
You see, divorces are not only considered to be difficult challenges, but “mental health experts say the pain it causes rivals grieving the death of a loved one.” Simply put, divorces can be rough. However, as tough as divorcing from your loved one might be, there are ways to get through it. After speaking with individuals who have already made it through a divorce along with counselors who help individuals survive the pain they bring on, the source compiled a list of three coping strategies that seem to work best for individuals who are trying to get through their divorce. And not only can these strategies be applied after your divorce has been finalized, but also while going through the process.
Here are the three strategies you might consider employing if you are having trouble accepting your divorce.
- Create your own support network. While you might feel as though you want to be left alone to sulk and think about what went wrong in your relationship, WebMD highlights that this is a good time to “lean on a support network.” According to Jennifer Coleman, EdS, NCC, who is a life transition coach, it is important for you to “recognize your support network” and “if it’s not strong enough, build it up.” That is what Michaels did and she found that it helped her get through the grieving tremendously. She turned to a friend who had a great sense of humor and even a support group that was there to listen when her other friends weren’t. Aside from turning to friends and support groups, you might also consider getting closer with others you see on a daily basis such as your neighbors who might be of some assistance when the days are just too rough to get through alone.
- Redefine Yourself. If you are someone who has lived as a spouse for the last few years of your life and aren’t sure of who you are aside from playing that role, now would be a good time to redefine yourself and figure out who you are. Patricia Covalt, Ph.D., who is a licensed marriage therapist says that you can use this time “as a period of self-exploration” as a way to “overcome feelings of isolation and fear.” Consider “taking up new hobbies, activities, interests—expand yourself [and] stay busy in a constructive way.
- Try and reduce the impact your divorce has on your kids. According to Jennipher Cole, LPC-S, who is a marriage and family therapist, it is best to refrain from criticizing the other parent, although you may want to frequently, in front of your kids. She says that this can lead to “poor outcomes” like “regressive behavior in younger children and low self-esteem and risky behavior in older children.” Simply put, it is best to keep your kids out of your relationship and try and focus on them rather than the way the separation has made you feel to prevent from letting your feelings and emotions interfere with their thoughts and behavior.
Now, aside from taking these strategies into consideration, you should also think about hiring a Baton Rouge, LA divorce lawyer if you live in the state of Louisiana and have just found out your spouse wants a divorce. As much as you would like for these unfortunate circumstances to just blow over, the best thing you can do right now is retain an attorney and begin forming your support group. Our divorce lawyers will not only help you get through this tough time, but they can ensure you obtain a favorable outcome so that you aren’t walking away from your marriage empty-handed.
If you would like to learn more about the benefits associated with hiring an attorney who focuses on divorce, contact Miller, Hampton & Hilgendorf today by calling 225-343-2205. We know how traumatic and difficult it can be to find out your life is about to shift in an entirely new direction and that is why our qualified and experienced Baton Rouge, LA divorce attorneys are here to help you.
You can reach Miller, Hampton & Hilgendorf at:
3960 Government Street
Baton Rouge, LA 70806